I've got the weekend blues...

I tend to go out and do something every weekend. When my weekends are packed full and crazy busy, I feel fulfilled. A couple weeks ago was a big theatre tournament and wouldn't you know, I got sick a few days before the weekend.

But, due in part to my stellar acting abilities I was able to put on a good front and convince my mom that I was totally recovered. Forget the little fact that I threw up Saturday morning (shh...I didn't tell) There was NO WAY I was going to miss tournament. So, I got up and took a shower packed my luggage and then got a ziplock bag and made my own first aid-kit. I tossed pepto, advil, day-quil, and crackers in the bag and grabbed a Mt. Dew (because caffeine does wonders) and set off at 5am for an all day event.

See...most pics from that day are like this;(

As all my friends snapped pictures and joked in between events I curled up in a corner and rested. As I look at the pictures posted on Facebook from the day--it is clear I am out of it, but I wouldn't give up. Not only did I stick it out through the whole 20 hour day, but I managed to convince the parental units that I was so good I could stay over at a friends house.

However, Sunday morning came and I really felt like poo. No amount of acting skills could hide it any longer, I was still sick.

I came home early Sunday and slept the entire day. I only got up once around dinner to eat some crackers and take a drink of sprite.

Should I have stayed home? Probably. I didn't do anyone any favors by being there. I mean, I wasn't contagious any longer, but I didn't bring my A-game and because of that I didn't place in Finals, and my vocals were pretty bad because I was so flat.

All that being said, I wouldn't have done it any differently. See, I feel better when I am around a bunch of people. Had I stayed home, I would have been worried and bothered by everything I felt I was missing out on. I can't stand being left out. I guess it's one of those things I just need to learn to deal with but it is just so hard. I get jealous at the thought of all the fun everyone is having without me. Pretty silly I know...can't help it though.

So now, I am sitting here and looking at the weekend before me and I am downright depressed because I have no plans with friends. I know we (as in my family) have tons to do in regards to moving, but I feel like a loser because I am having to stay home and help. I realize I should be grateful that I have had the past three weekends filled with events and movies and sleepovers...but it's the start of spring break and I have nothing cool to say that I am doing.

People are going to come back to school and have all these amazing stories to tell and when I'm asked all I will have to say is..."packed, cleaned and read some books". I just know the look that will be on their faces-a mixture of pity and humiliation for me because I have nothing cool to add to the conversation. *sigh*

Maybe I can convince someone to take me to the Rodeo? *Fingers Crossed*